In the Rough - July 27, 2009
Well I guess all the Tiger Haters had their moment of glory last week at The Open Championship......
Even one prominent sportswriter, now turned "TV personality", Rick Reilly took time out to publicly lambast Tiger in an ESPN.com column regarding his on course behavior. Uhhh, Rick, just a wild guess but I don't think you're getting an invitation to Tiger JamVI.
Even the Golf Haters took their shots at the grand old game. "How can you expect anyone to take golf seriously as a sport when a 59-year-old guy, who looks like an oversized leprechaun, almost won the damn Open Championship!
Well, all of this bluster has got me thinking about how to improve golf in its current state and to prepare ourselves for life after Tiger. Just think how lame this Open Championship would have been without Watson hanging on to the end. Don't get me wrong - I like Stewart Cink. The dude is a hoot on Twitter, twitter.com/stewartcink, but girls aren't exactly throwing their underwear at him when he walks by and guys aren't daydreaming about how "cool" it would be to be like Stew.
So here goes nothing! If I were PGA TOUR Commissioner for a day................
In the real world, I could make this happen. In my fantasy, I want this to happen. Real World. 30-event regular season. Every qualified player has to play 25 events. The five events you miss have to be played next year. I don't care if the 150th ranked player on tour doesn't get to play every event, do you? I want to see Tiger and Phil and the rest of the top guys killing each other every week like they do in every other damn sport!
Fantasy World: Female Caddies. Need I say more, but I will... NFL Cheerleaders, Laker Girls, Beach Volleyball. Sex sells. Let's get over ourselves. If we didn't like it, none of us would be here. By the way, caddy overalls will be stylishly altered to accentuate the "personality" of the ladies.
Real World: 54-hole cuts instead of 36. Give the players a chance to play their way into or out of a payday. Too many players coast after they make the 36-hole cut. Make them work a little harder and longer for the payday.
Fantasy World: Uniforms for all players on all tours. Don't laugh, every other sport has their players, drivers, horses identified by name and number or both. How is a casual golf fan supposed to tell who is who without names and numbers on their shirts? Think of how many whatever numbered Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson shirts you could sell! Because, right now nobody is buying the skin-tight, nipple popper shirts Phil is sporting these days, not to mention the licensing agreements. Got your attention now Commissioner Finchem?
Real World: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, schedule an event during a Major Week. I found it incredibly annoying that the PGA TOUR schedules an event opposite The Open Championship every year. What message are we sending to the players who didn't qualify for the major? Yeah, you weren't good enough to qualify for this major so we'll give you a chance to make some serious cash playing against other chops while nobody is watching. Seems a little lame to me.
Fantasy World: A shotclock. Golf takes too long. Basketball, Football and I suspect baseball will come up with some version of a pitch clock soon. Why not golf? While were at it, all balls within 2 feet of hole cannot be marked or cleaned. Hammer the damn thing in the back of the cup and get the hell out of the way! Did I mention female caddies?
Bob Seganti, PGA
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